Anabelle's Mohana Thoughts

Update...

2007-06-22T09:26:00.000-05:00

So what has been happening ... I feel better than ever since my accident, though I don't think I'll ever be the same. I have been to Vegas, England, and LA since my last post on here. I am currently single (no, it didn't work out with him). I continue to write (some anyway), read, and I continue to perform magic, mentalism and psychic-type routines whenever I get the chance. I haven't been as creative recently and don't have any fresh ideas where magic and mentalism are concerned. It'll come though. Some negative things have happened but I don't want to dwell on those, all I will say is that sometimes people are plain and simple, shit. I watched a movie called Twilight Samurai and thought I would not like it, but I love it, it's very sweet. I finally watched A Scanner Darkly too. It was cool.

Sorry for not being interesting this time. I'll try to post something interesting soon.

Before I go, let me leave you with this Chinese Proverb –

YOU CANNOT PREVENT THE BIRD OF SORROW FROM FLYING OVER YOUR HEAD, BUT YOU CAN PREVENT IT FROM NESTING IN YOUR HAIR.

Engle Matrix Game

2007-03-26T11:02:00.000-05:00

I'm not really into RPG's. I've been asked to play in the past, I've tried it and it's ok, but again, not for me. Having said that, a friend just introduced me to a beginner Engle Matrix game and I found it super fun. The more creative and imaginative you are the better! The game we played was funny, quick and overall fun! I'd like to play again! I could go into how the game is played, but it's easier to just visit the creator's site I found. Everything is there. If anyone wants to play through email, I'll give it a try.

www.io.com/~hamster/englematrixgames.html

Want

2007-03-24T11:00:00.000-05:00

I want you despite the fact that we've only known each other very shortly. I want us to be that loving couple walking barefoot on the beach holding hands right on the edge of the ocean where only the more lingering waves can reach, gently caressing our feet. The sky is fiery red on the horizon as the sun graciously goes down, plunging into the warmth of the sea. A light breeze whispers in our ears as we look into each other's eyes. We can both feel the heat of our passion as our hearts beat in unison, but we hold back until the feeling intensifies past the point of our resistance. In a fury of emotions I can feel your thoughts deeply penetrate my mind causing my attention to slowly move back and forth, over and over, from pure love to raw animal instinct and lust, as I come and come again to the same conclusion that I must surrender my entire being to the sheer power of our passion ... this passion that is sweeping us both away into a world of feeling complete.

Alpha Bond!

2006-11-22T19:14:00.000-05:00

I saw this movie the other day and loved it. I think I've seen every James Bond movie made and as an actress have dreamt of being a Bond Girl, but without question, if I could be a Bond Girl I'd want to be Daniel Craig's girl! Wow. He's the Alpha Bond! Nice rough edge. Mmm. Anyway....

Philosophy - Morality

2006-11-11T09:45:00.000-05:00

Is it moral to take another woman’s man? No one really owns a man anyway, do they? Is it ethical if you happen to know the woman he’s with? I suppose one is not really TAKING anything, the man goes if he pleases, right? What if this new love is deep and real, should one not go for it because the other is attached? I guess it would depend on your point of view.

Morality can be so objective.

So is it “right” or “wrong” to do this if you believe in it?

Do we make an error when we think of actions as “right” or “wrong”?

I was thinking about this ... is “moral value” simply an illusion? Some people believe moral value is added by the emotional way in which we view the world, while others believe that right and wrong are objective properties that are there anyway no matter how things may seem to us. But if you believe that moral value is independently out there, then how do we come by moral knowledge? Could we be individually and collectively mistaken about what’s right and wrong? I guess it’s a choice of whether you want your life to be guided by moral reasons or reasons of self-interest, which to me ends up being a choice of self-definition. In the end, it’s maybe FEAR, not principle, that makes us moral.

In making these kinds of decisions there may be no reason for being or becoming one sort of person (moral), rather than another (immoral). I guess it’s something we just do.

Top Ten - Mentalism

2006-08-30T17:41:00.000-05:00

These are my top 10 marketed mentalism effects (at least I present them as mentalism or psychic effects). I perform these often. They are in no particular order, just my top 10!

1: Richard Osterlind's Perfected Center Tear
2: Richard Osterlind's Card Calling (BCS)
3: Richard Osterlind's Challenge Mind Reading (BCS)
4: Alexandre's Ex Nihilo
5: Sal Piacente's 4,5,6, Packet Trick
6: Jim Steinmeyer's Three Card Monte
7: Jim Steinmeyer's The World's Thinnest Deck of Cards
8: Alexander Black & Troy Cherry's Dracula Book Test
9: Max Maven's Indication (Violet Book - Prism)
10: Banachek's Psychokinetic Silverware

Most of the above I perform with my own unique presentation. They are all winners in my blog!

Hedonism

2006-08-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

As a philosophy, hedonism places stress on the pursuit and enjoyment of pleasure as being the aim of a good life.

In psychological hedonism, it is argued that everyone already does whatever is desirable or pleasurable to them.

In ethical hedonism, it is argued that the ethics of an act is decided based upon whether or not the act enhances a person's pleasure.

How do you see it?

...

2006-08-26T18:55:00.000-05:00

This is personal. A cry for help maybe? Not sure, don't think so though because I'm enjoying it. After my accident I've been enjoying drugs (mostly legal-my dad is a doctor) and alcohol a little too much. When I stop, I get terribly depressed, irritated and sometimes angry.

What to do. Nothing I guess, no harm done, though I do worry about the future and what could happen if I continue like this.

I'm under such influence as I write this. I've written lots of poems and narratives under the influence, diary, stuff. I feel good now listening to music, but what about tomorrow?

Here is something I wrote recently.

It's too far to see the horizon now,
I'm distracted,
Our plans are what I miss most, when we looked out together
Where are you
Besides in here with me?
We acted right,
It was father time who was wrong.
It'll be tough without you because
You're always with me.
When I look at the ocean, there's something that says life continues and to give up is dumb.
Since you're not here, what I can do is take care of me,
I want to be happy, at the very least remember our plans.

I have to go now.

Reading....

2006-08-14T21:11:00.000-05:00

This is for you. I knew you’d be here now so I wrote this with you in mind....
I’m getting that you’re a very sensitive person. When you were younger you were different from the others around you. You were observant. You’d silently take in a situation and notice things about the people in your presence. I feel your intuition is strong. You’re caring and honest, sometimes even too much so, though you have difficulty letting anyone get to know you. When you DO let someone in, you keep them close to you for a long time. In fact, there is someone close to you now that you’re worried about. The best thing to do is to keep being a positive force in that person’s life. I get the feeling that sometimes you’re over analytic, but it’s better to try to live spontaneously. I also see a scar on your knee. Is it the right one? Yes the right one.

Hello Again

2006-07-05T20:57:00.000-05:00

This post is just to say "hello" again. I've been away in more ways than I care to go into detail now. So at least I'm back ... sort of anyway. I want to make mention of a couple of things:

* I didn't really like the David Blaine special, too may commercials and not enough content. The whole thing could've been an hour long. It was amazing that he was able to hold his breath for that long though!

* The Miami Vice movie will be out later this month and I hope to have made the cut as an extra. I was in a few scenes so I'm thinking so.

* I have been dating an Italian actor and I know the Italian soccer team has made it to the finals of the World Cup. I hope they win!

* I might be moving to California soon. Los Angeles to be exact. Not totally sure though.

* On the Magic/Mentalism front, Alexandre (www.eyesandminds.com) has sent me one of the best card routines I've ever seen. So fair, crazy mysterious! He sent me the eBook and asked me not to share so I won't. Keep an eye out for it. Very awesome!

* I've never read The Lord of the Rings but want to badly. I just finished reading Diana Gabaldon's "A Breath of Snow and Ashes". Great book!

And finally ... I've missed writing here ... or anywhere for that matter.

Anabelle

Playing Cards in Mentalism

2006-04-29T07:30:00.000-05:00

Can playing cards believably be used in tests of mentalism?

I think so, and they have been. Performer Joseph Dunninger used a long sequence of card effects in his performances, and cards, in one form or another, have also been associated with parapsychology testing.

Magicians and some mentalists often don’t like to use playing cards in their mentalism routines because they think it makes spectators think of magic tricks, when the truth is that only magicians and some mentalists think that way. Normal people don’t think of magic tricks when they see a deck of playing cards, they usually think of gambling, card games, and sometimes fortune-telling

I think cards are excellent for mentalism as long as the mentalist observes some basic ground rules as in no fancy or slick handling and no showing off! To create the illusion of mind reading, the mentalist should never admit to skill at sleight of hand.

One of the best ways to end a mentalism routine with cards should be with the pack in the spectator’s hands, or at least on the table, away from the mentalist’s physical control.

That final image is what’ll be left in a spectator’s mind.

Playing Cards II

2006-04-26T09:02:00.000-05:00

During World War II, The United States Playing Card Company had a secret deal with the U. S. government to produce special decks of playing cards for American prisoners of war in German camps. When these cards were moistened, they peeled apart to reveal sections of a map indicating escape routes.

Also during the war, USPC provided "spotter" cards, that illustrated the characteristic shapes of tanks, ships and aircraft from the more powerful countries.

During the war in Vietnam, the Ace of Spades served a famous purpose. In 1966 two lieutenants wrote The United States Playing Card Company and requested decks containing nothing but the "Bicycle" Ace of Spades. The cards were to be used for psychological warfare. The Viet Cong were very superstitious and highly frightened by this Ace.

The French previously occupied Indochina, and in French fortunetelling with cards, the Spades meant death and suffering. USPC shipped thousands of these decks free to our troops in Vietnam. These decks were in plain white cases, inscribed "Bicycle Secret Weapon." The cards were then scattered in the jungle and in hostile villages during raids.

The very sight of this "Bicycle" Ace was said to cause many Viet Cong to run for their lives.

Playing Cards

2006-04-24T22:12:00.000-05:00

I really like playing cards. I like the feel, the designs, and even the way some of them smell. Being someone that enjoys magic and mentalism you’d imagine I performed many card effects, the problem is I’m a terrible klutz with them. I’m just now getting a hang of shuffling like a real gambler. I recently found out some cool things about playing cards I want to share with you. Here it is:

Playing cards didn’t generate in China where paper was invented, as previously thought, but Egypt.

The ace of spades is bigger and fancier only in Anglo-American packs. Aces on standard European cards are generally the same size in each suit. On a side note, there is a tradition of images on Aces on some packs that began in Belgium.

The Nine of Diamonds is called “The Curse of Scotland”, a phrase that seems to have been first recorded in the early 18th century. The story goes that Lord Justice Clerk Ormistone became hated in Scotland and was called the Curse of Scotland. For some reason, which I haven’t yet discovered, when women saw the Nine of Diamonds while playing cards they called it “Justice Clerk”.

Kings, Queens and Jacks don’t represent anyone. They’ve never carried names, and it’s not probable that they originally portrayed anyone.

Two Jacks and the King of Diamonds only show one eye for the obvious reason that the heads are meant to be in profile. It was actually printing mistakes that caused that because originally they were meant to have both eyes in the profile.

Fun stuff. They say you learn something new everyday ... it’s so true!

Shaman

2006-04-17T16:51:00.000-05:00

When you hear the word "Shaman," what images come to mind?

Most people will probably imagine things associated with Native American culture, but "Shaman" is not an Indian Medicine Man, and "Shamanism" is not a Native American religion.

I learned that the word "Shaman" actually originates from the natives of Siberia, where it describes a specialized type of holy person. They interact with gods and spirits not only with prayer, ritual and offerings, but through direct contact with the spirits themselves.

A "Shaman" is a specialist of the ecstatic trance-journey, not a synonym for Tribal Healer, Holy Person or Medicine Man. "Shamanism" is the practice of ecstatic trance-journey, and the typical beliefs and techniques that support it. Shamanism is not a blanket term for indigenous religion, earth-based religions, spiritual healing, or beliefs in Totems, Animal Guardians or Nature Spirits.

These misconceptions continue to be promoted and they need to be corrected for the preservation of traditional Native American cultures, and for the advancement of spiritual learning in the West.

Philosophy - Evolution

2006-04-10T20:08:00.000-05:00

The whole artificial intelligence thing scares me a little. If we start creating these super intelligent robots how are they going to react to us? Will they want to destroy us or just think we are irrelevant?

What scares me is that in history major differences in technological development between two races have been marked by the destruction or control of the less technologically developed, like Native Americans, Incas, Aztecs, etc....

Maybe as the world evolves towards greater and greater intelligence, these super intelligent robots will just leave us humans behind. The next step of evolution may be right around the corner and we may end up being the “ancestors” not “participants”.

Scooter Accident

2006-03-13T09:42:00.000-05:00

It’s good to be posting again. On february 28 I was in a scooter accident. I was in a coma for a day or so and just a couple of days ago came home from the hospital. I’m having memory issues and have no memory at all from the time I left the house that morning all the way to just a few days ago. I didn’t break any bones, but have a horrible scar on the right side of my face and I still can’t see straight from the damage to my right eye. No one knows for sure, but it looks like I was probably hit by a car. I’m not writing this for anyone to feel sorry for me, but to remind people to wear a helmet. I loved my little scooter and when I started riding it I wore a helmet regularly, but as I got more confident, I stopped using the helmet at all.

I survived, but it could’ve been worse, though it has certainly changed my life.

Stalking

2006-02-27T21:01:00.000-05:00

I’m writing this for the benefit of all the women who read my blog. I have personal experience in this matter. I’ve been stalked more than once and the last time it didn’t end well for me. These are some tips for you to avoid being stalked!

1) The first moment your intuition tells you the person's behavior is inappropriate you should state loud and clear that “I want no further contact of any kind with you!” Even if he doesn’t do anything about your request, you can later tell the police you’ve made your feelings clear to the stalker and his behavior will be considered harassment.

2) You should avoid any further contact with the stalker and I know this can sometimes be difficult because you might have to shop or workout somewhere else, find new restaurants, even move if you have to. I agree that you shouldn’t have to turn your life around because of a stalker but your safety is more important than where you shop. This also means you shouldn’t talk to your stalker at all because ANY contact can be interpreted as a sign of encouragement by the stalker.

3) I suggest you get a journal and write down times and dates describing every incident because in order to charge someone with stalking the police will want YOU to show a laundry list of harassing behavior.

4) If your stalker insists after you make it clear that you want no more contact, notify the police. Even though the police is there to help you, you will need to facilitate your own case, so bring all evidence and documentation with you to the station (it’s better than having them show up at your house). You’ll need to work together with the police to get the stalker to stop! Save notes or telephone messages he may leave you because these things are useful to the police. In the end it’ll be your word against his, so if you can safely get a picture or video of his antics, do so!

5) Let your family, friends, and coworkers know about the stalker, what his name is (if you have it), what he looks like, and anything else you may have on him. These extra pairs of eyes and ears can become very important. However awkward this may feel, it beats compromising your personal well-being.

6) And finally, being stalked can be pretty traumatic. Many feel they’ve done something to make the stalker behave this way. It’s important to remember that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! People should be responsible for their own actions. The typical stalker is emotionally weak and disturbed and you have done nothing to provoke this violating destructive behavior.

Liseli

2006-02-16T17:55:00.000-05:00

This is my friend Liseli (I wanted to show her off) I know this is not the best picture of her, but it’s the best one I have with me now (I could’ve used that other one, but I don’t think she would’ve approved *wink*)

I wanted to mention how important she’s been in my life since I met her. She’s part Native American as I’ve said and her connection with the Earth is just awesome and a great example to all of us.

She’s certainly taught me how to be more “spiritual” and has been a huge positive influence in my life; I totally appreciate that!

I write this as a quick “thank you” to my super friend, Liseli! Love you!

Here are three of her favorite Native American quotes she’s shared with me. I’ll never forget them:

1) It’s easy to be brave from a safe distance.

2) In this world the unseen has power.

And ...

3) We are all one child spinning through Mother sky.

Pow Wow

2006-02-12T12:52:00.000-05:00

My friend Liseli and I have just released to the Magic/Mentalism community a Native American themed ebook called POW WOW. We've been working on this for a while, and since she's part Native American this is a subject she understands. I'm really excited about this project. It'll be posted in the store section of eyesandminds.com. BTW I want to thank Alexandre for being super sweet and hosting my work on his site once again!

There are six Magic/Mentalism routines in the ebook, most using playing cards.

"Cowboys vs Indians" is a routine where the Tribe's Spiritual Leader decides to get directly involved in a battle, being the last one standing in the end, therefore winning for the Indians! This routine uses regular playing cards. The boys LOVE the whole war thing!

"Animal Totem Medicine Wheel" A Medicine Wheel is a physical manifestation of Spiritual energy. An outward expression of an internal dialogue. A mirror in which we can better see what is going on within us. In this routine the participant goes through the wheel and discovers his Animal Totem in the process. The interesting thing is that morning you had a vision of that Animal Totem and brought along a gift for the participant. You can also play it revealing in the end that you had a feeling all along what Animal Totem would choose them.

"Your Animal Totem For Today" is sort of a fortune routine where a person goes through your Animal Totem cards and discovers their Animal Totem for the day. Again you can accurately predict what Animal Totem they will end up with. You tell them you had a dream about this the night before, and reveal.

"The Elder's Sensitivity" The tribe’s Elder has learned over the years to distinguish by feeling when someone from a group of visitors to the village means any harm, or carries negativity with them that may stay behind and influence the tribe. He taught you how to do it, and you will demonstrate using a regular deck of playing cards. This is fun!

"The Elder's Memory Challenge" A visitor comes into the village to see the Elder for an interview. During conversation he asks about his memory since he is getting up there in age. The Elder takes out a regular deck of playing cards and begins a quick and powerful memory demonstration.

"Sacred Mountain" Sacred Mountain is the place of inner-knowing and proper perspective. The sacred mountain of our ancestors is not a physical place, it’s a place of balance that exists within the Sacred Space of each individual. To reach this place of wisdom and enlightenment balanced with faith, trust, innocence, and courage, you must climb the mountains and hills of your own limitations and conquer fears that keep you from knowing. You'll go into yourself in this routine to find out if you are ready for the lessons of the Sacred Mountain. Using a regular deck of playing cards, you set up twelve of them representing a month of each year and begin the journey for a surprise ending.

These are all super easy to do. Liseli and I had tons of fun writing these and performing them everywhere. I think it's fun. I'm sure you can adapt a lot of the routines to be anything you want, but I like the Native theme myself, people seem to enjoy watching and listening. I've had no complaints.

Philosophy - P.S.

2006-02-10T18:27:00.000-05:00

How many ears do these three cute rabbits have? (look at picture above)

It looks like each has two ears but when you look at it more carefully our eyes have fooled us.

I wonder in how many other ways my eyes have fooled me in the past. I’m sure plenty of times, most of which I’ve never realized.

I found out that this type of image is called Perceptual Stereotyping which is when the mind puts together incomplete information, but once we realize what it is, what doesn't fit in with the idea is usually gone.

I guess this kind of thing can be positive and negative. Positive because it’s the sort of illogical thinking that brings up originality and creativity. Negative because I may be walking around in the woods and see an animal as something else until it takes a bite out of me! Ouch!

I say the rabbits were born like this and therefore share three ears. Poor things....

High Heels

2006-02-05T23:46:00.000-05:00

Us women tend to have a love/hate relationship with high heels. I wear them because I feel sexy and feminine in them and because they give me a little extra height (I’m only 5’4). I wear them with jeans, pants, skirts, whatever. But some women I’ve talked to about this say high heels make them vulnerable by limiting their ability to run in case of an emergency, they hurt, they are just plain uncomfortable to use all day, or that the higher the heel the higher the chance of tripping and falling on their face and embarrassing themselves.

Historical note: High heels were invented in the 1500’s to keep feet from slipping out of their stirrups while riding. By the late 1800s women primarily wore them.

So I’m shopping with a friend of mine, and she is one of these “high heels are torture” women and we walk into a shoe store with the cutest high heel sandals I’ve seen in a while. Naturally I’m going to buy a pair, but I wanted her to get one too so I start having her try some on until she finds one she kind of likes.

“Aren’t those comfortable?" I ask her.

“Yeah but for how long?” She answers taking steps in the store.

She finally decides to get a pair and I tell her to just wear them out, they’ll look cute with the abercrombie and fitch jeans she’s wearing.

A half hour later I ask her how they feel considering we’ve been on our feet since leaving the shoe store. She says they’re fine. Not bad.

An hour after that when we get back to the car she takes them off and starts rubbing one of her feet. Picking up one of the sandals, she inclines her blonde head and says, “I guess they do look hot ... I’ll wear them when I’m out with Carlos (her boyfriend), he’ll like that.”

Well, I tried.

Discovery

2006-02-01T11:38:00.000-05:00

I love discovering new books and writers and recently I came across a book that judged by its title alone I might not be interested in at all (more on this later). Luckly I don’t judge books by their titles alone!

A friend told me about this author’s event at the local public library close to where I live. (I happen to like author events) and by the time we got there Mr. Gurion was already discussing his book with the small group gathered there.

I stood and listened for a bit.

The book is called Champtown. My first impression was that it had something to do with boxing, but I was wrong. Like I said, I like discovering new books and writers, so after the talk I was intrigued enough to buy one of the books the author himself was selling. He signed it for me, I took it shopping, then home. In bed I started reading Champtown and if I didn’t have to get up early the next morning I would’ve kept reading.

Instead of describing in detail what the book is about just visit the author’s web site and read about it there (WesleyGurion.com). Right away I enjoyed the details, how the characters came alive on the page. I finished reading the book not long ago and I really enjoyed it. It’s on my bookshelf as one of my more interesting reading experiences. I say support independent writers by purchasing a copy of their books!

I read all kinds of books and enjoy discovering new authors, if you come across any good ones, please let me know!

NOTE: On Mr. Gurion’s site there is something on there about terrorism (not related to his novel) which I haven’t read yet. If it happens to be offensive to anyone I apologize for leading you there.

Philosophy - Liar

2006-01-31T12:06:00.000-05:00

A mentalist friend of mine told me Mentalists and Magicians always lie.

I thought about it for a moment. In philosophy they call this the “liar” paradox. It’s been around since at least ancient Greece.

If mentalists and magicians always lie and he’s a mentalist, then he’s lying too! So is his statement true, or is it a lie?

You could conclude that he’s just lying, period.

There’s a paradoxical version of this that goes “I always lie”.

Think about that.

How weird. You can go crazy thinking too much about it. Fun though.

Philosophy

2006-01-29T20:18:00.000-05:00

I love books, I’ve mentioned that before here, and it was through these (and school) that I discovered Philosophy. I remember asking philosophical type questions when I was about fourteen, things like, what is the meaning of life? Is anything really right or wrong? And whether death is really the end of it all or if something else awaits us.

I’ve written a few basic things about philosophy just so I can better sort them out in my head. The process helped me make better sense of certain things while I was writing, and mind you, it’s nothing super sophisticated, just the basics really.

I’d like to share a couple of these here. I know most people are not interested in philosophy, what’s the point, right? But I think it’s fun to think about these things even though they won’t change anyone’s life much.

The main thing about philosophy is to question and hopefully understand some very common everyday ideas that we all use and experience but really don’t think about. It’s fun because it pushes our understanding of the world and ourselves a little deeper.

So I’ll start by sharing a favorite philosophy quote by Bertrand Russell: “There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge.”

Strong Kind of Magic

2006-01-26T20:56:00.000-05:00

I’ve been asked to put spells on people and offered money for readings (both which I’ve never done). I’ve had people not want to sit near me after I’ve performed a psychic or paranormal demonstration. I’ve been called “weird”, “creepy” and a “witch” amongst other things.

Mentalism is a strong kind of magic. Perform at your own risk, and totally respect it!

Magicians

2006-01-25T14:15:00.000-05:00

When I was little I was scared of magicians. Most kids laughed and had fun all around me while I cried and wanted to move as far away from them as possible.

I’ve since thought back to what caused such a reaction when most enjoyed being around magicians. I feared Clowns too, but that’s another story. I thought back to my very first magician memory. This old man laughing reached behind my ear and removed one of those little blue bouncy balls. It freaked me out. He laughed giving me a better look into his old mouth, a whiff of his old breath and pulled out another little blue bouncy ball from there. I didn’t like the idea of these things coming out of my ear or head or anywhere in my body and began to cry being lifted into my dad’s arms for safety.

That moment spawned my fear of magicians as a child.

But I grew out of it (as readers of this blog already know) and began to love magic later on.

Watching it that is. I never thought I would be performing it at all. Now it seems, I bring about a similar kind of fear, not on children, but on adults.

Mentalism tends to have that effect on some people.

Audition

2006-01-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

The audition went well. I happen to like auditioning. Don’t think I got the part though, it’s been a few days and I haven’t heard anything yet.

After my audition that day, the producer stood, smiled, walked towards me, shook my hand firmly and whispered, “You did great, listen, I’d like to see you after the auditions,” He glanced his expensive watch, “It’ll be another thirty minutes or so, would you mind waiting?”

“Of course not, thank you so much” I came out of the audition room beyond excited. I must’ve had a huge smile on my face.

“Looks like you did well” an actress shot with an attitude, then changed her tone and asked curious, “Did they tell you anything?” I told her what went on, walked outside for fresh air and started to go over what he might want to see me about. Giving it some thought, it didn’t seem like he wanted to see me about that particular commercial. Maybe it was another commercial or a film he was working on, or I happened to be perfect for a friend’s project, things like this happen all the time in this business. I was hopeful. Excited.

Forty some minutes later he shows up.

It turns out he wanted a date.

Duende

2006-01-15T22:32:00.000-05:00

Duende in the English dictionary means a ghost or an evil spirit, but in Flamenco it’s more like intense inspiration.

Flamenco performers, according to tradition, often say they can deeply communicate and connect with the audience only when they become possessed by this Duende, this wild inspirational power.

This kind of force manifests itself in the focused performance of a song or dance in which expression goes so deep that the performers, as well as the audience, reach a sort of creative euphoria.

My mom has talked about this Duende influence when she danced Flamenco.

The reason I bring it up is that I have an audition coming up this week, and though it has nothing to do with Flamenco, I would so very much appreciate if this Duende made itself available to me during that time.

I’ll do my best without it, but since it knows my mom, I’m sort of counting on its presence.

Hope to feel you there....

Banana

2006-01-13T00:04:00.000-05:00

I hit a wall of traffic on the 836 today. It had taken me a little longer than usual to get dressed (I just couldn't decide what to wear) and I was not going to have time for lunch until after the audition. It was a good thing I brought a banana along with me. I picked it up from the passenger seat hoping it wouldn’t have any dead spots on it.

I peeled it.

I was in luck.

I took a bite reminding myself that I'd have to fix my lipstick before getting out of the car.

You know the feeling you get when you just know someone is watching?

There he was, this bearded middle-aged guy crawling along in traffic right next to me entertained while I ate a banana.

Either let him watch or stop eating.

I felt imprisoned. Freedom is so relative.

I broke a piece of the banana off and put it in my mouth. I refused to give in to not eating at all. I got banana inside two fingernails. I wanted to scream!

His lane started moving. He stopped three cards ahead of me. Thank God! I picked up the banana and took another bite.

Flamenco!

2006-01-10T14:24:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my profile that my mother was a Flamenco dancer when she was younger. Well, I kind of grew up listening to the music. This is just a quick note to say how much Paco de Lucia and Flamenco music in general excites me! I’ll get more into this at another time.

Visit these links and join me!

www.flamenco-world.com

www.pacodelucia.org

Oh, one more thing ... have you ever made love to Flamenco music? Incredible!

The Curse

2006-01-10T10:08:00.001-05:00

I love Tarot cards and have been playing around with them doing readings and things since I was sixteen.

Being able to do readings with regular playing cards is great because you can find them almost anywhere, and because of that, I was able to undo a curse. More in a moment.

Any kind of reading is generally fun and people seem to enjoy them (sometimes more than any kind of magic, but that’s another subject), so I like to keep my readings short and light staying away from negativity and heavy subjects, always making it a point to say that anything I read on the cards can be changed by the person; nothing I “reveal” is set in stone. Otherwise you can end up cursing someone ... which is why I bring up this subject.

Naturally I don’t carry my Tarot cards everywhere I go, but since I had learned to read with regular playing cards and a deck was available, I started giving my friend a reading who informed me soon into it that she had been told by a “psychic reader” years ago she would die young. What a curse! This friend actually lived according to what this reader had once told her, in other words, she’d been thinking long and hard about marriage and having children, a career choice, and never giving much thought to the future regarding money. It messed with every aspect of her life until I came along and had a nice long chat with her about it.

Never had I encountered that kind of situation before, incredible! How irresponsible to curse someone like that! Was it intentional? I have no idea, maybe the reader thought this would be good information to pass along. Just awful. Within minutes I had undone a curse using nothing but a plain deck of cards. Powerful stuff.

Mentalists and friends, read responsibly. Please.

King Kong

2006-01-09T17:13:00.000-05:00

King Kong. I really liked this movie. Remakes just don’t get any more respectable than this. It started out a little slow, but when it got moving it was great. I cried so hard in the end. It’s so sad, It makes you want to go out and find a giant hairy guy to hold and comfort. It’s amazing how real he looked, I was entranced by the amber in his eyes, the way they blazed and sparkled, the expression.... just incredible, that’s what really made me lose it in the end.

After the crying subsided I couldn’t help imagining myself in the role of Ann Darrow. I’m sure I could’ve done it. I’m a pretty good screamer (saved my life once, but that’s another story) and that’s an important talent needed for the part, though I’m not sure if they used Naomi’s own scream or if they added someone else’s in post production. You can do anything in Hollywood now, which makes it easier for almost anyone to do almost anything on film.

I’m so ready for a big role, but I guess I need to move to California for that. Get a heavy agent. For personal reasons I’m kind of wanting to stay in Florida right now, though I’ve talked to my uncle about the possibility of moving back west. He said I could stay with him which means a lot, though it would still be a big leap for me. I do realize I’ll have to do that at some point if I’m going to get the big auditions. Unless I fly back and forth all the time which is just not convenient.

So ... King Kong. Go see it. Bring tissues. And a giant hairy guy if you have one.

Odds

2006-01-09T17:01:00.000-05:00

I talk to my friends about my desires and goals sometimes and they wonder how my parents react to the whole thing, being that the odds are so terribly stacked against me.

I immediately can’t help wondering what their parents have to say about their goals and desires....

I don’t look at odds, I guess my parents don’t either because they say, “Go for it, sweetheart, there’s nothing you can’t do!”

I’ve been told that all my life ... and I really believe it.

It brings me to wonder why some of my friends have no desires at all while I have so many.

Mentalism

2006-01-08T23:19:00.000-05:00

I am totally interested in Mentalism, do you know what that is? It’s a branch of magic, but let me explain, I don’t vanish things or make things float around (though I find nothing wrong with that) what I do is recreate psychic-type experiences like general mind reading and predicting. I also enjoy the bizarre side of magic which deals with ghosts, strange occurrences, demonstrating through storytelling weird happenings, including putting on entertaining seances!

I’ll be writing quite a bit about this on here because I perform casually almost everyday; I have written three eBooks for the trade (two of which are included in Alexandre’s The Black School book - www.eyesandminds.com/store2.htm); and I’m currently writing a small book (that may end up being an eBook after all) on how I got started in mentalism and related experiences.

So what is it that excites me about performing this sort of magic casually for friends and sometimes strangers?

It’s my taste for performing in general and also taking people out of their reality for a moment and bringing a little fun mystery into their lives (though some believe I have true psychic powers, like I said, I’ll be writing a lot more about this subject).

But life is mysterious enough, you say?

Sure, but how often do you really think about the mysteries of life? How close are you to them? This kind of magic, if you’re open to it, brings these mysteries real close. And how fun is that! I just love it! Love watching it! Love performing it! Love writing about it!

In the little book I’m writing, I talk about how I was scared of magicians as a child, back then I could never imagine I’d be so interested in the whole thing now. It’s my love of creativity, of mystery, of thinking “out of the box” that has gotten me so involved, and again I have my parents to thank for that.

But with all this passion, I often ask how far I’m ready to go with the whole magic/mentalism thing. It seems my passion for acting is just as great if not greater. I would love to write for the big magic magazines, I would enjoy performing mentalism for the general public (there are not many women doing it), but for now I’ve chosen to focus primarily on acting and succeeding in the movie business.

Meanwhile I’ll keep performing mentalism casually every time I get the chance. It's exciting and I love it!

Keep an eye out for me, don’t be afraid!

Miami Vice 2006

2006-01-08T20:43:00.000-05:00

I was an extra in this film. Not sure if I'll end up on the cutting room floor or not. The movie doesn't come out until the summer, so I'll find out then. I've been an extra in a couple of big films, but this was my favorite by a long shot. Amazing! Awesome! And also because I got to meet and spend time with a real interesting guy, and it had nothing to do with a scene in the film, this was personal. Now before rumors start spreading, I will eliminate the main actors because I barely got to see them. Well, that's not entirely true but besides the point. They weren't involved. No more clues, this is supposed to be a private matter. So why am I writing about it? Because I still think about him and he has never called me. But I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk about how money, some fame, a big movie set, and the Hollywood world can be seducing and exciting. This guy worked it all on me. And it worked. I can't deny that making a nice living in Hollywood, money and some fame are attractive in a man. Should I write this one off? I've done some research, I think he's attached. It ain't over till it's over, right? Maybe he's been busy, maybe he'll call soon. I have a few questions. Oh, doesn't that just sound awful to a man? "I have a few questions?" I'm not waiting, but I am, if you know what I mean.

Talk about bewitching and seducing....

Mohana

2006-01-06T19:19:00.000-05:00

Mohana ... to be bewitched ... to seduce. I learned this word from reading the Kama Sutra, a book that offers me something new every time I take a look at it. I'll talk more about the book in a minute.

I call this blog "Mohana Thoughts" because I want to write about what turns me on, what bewitches, seduces me. I have tons of interests, and I guess I have to thank my parents for that, who exposed me to a myriad of cultures and things as I was growing up. They also raised me with an open mind, which brings me to the question, why this blog? Well, I could write all this in a journal (most of which I have) but why not share it? Sharing these thoughts is exciting to me, and just thinking of someone I've never met reading my words is mind blowing. Hope you can be bewitched and seduced as you read.

Now about the Kama Sutra. The version I've read is called "The Complete Kama Sutra" translated by Alain Danielou. This is supposed to be the first unabridged modern translation of the classic Indian text and one which I found easy to read and very complete. It's a little sexist in some places, and naturally outdated in others, but very intriguing nonetheless.

For those who have not read it, I want to make clear that it's not a pornographic work, It's a realistic study of an important part of our existence without much hypocrisy. Having said that, you can find sections on Petting and Caresses, The Art of Scratching (which I've applied a few times), Stimulation of Erotic Desire, Biting, and Success in Love, among other curious things.

I was given this book by a guy friend, and didn't know what to make of the gift because at the time I believed the book was some kind of ancient pornography. I remember going to bed that night and flipping through it noticing some of the above mentioned sections.

I stayed up until very late reading.

And partly because of this unique gift, I ended up dating him. What can I say ... I appreciate courage and creativity.